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Writer's Block: Jackpot

If you won the lottery, what would you do with your newfound riches?

OOHH!! That has always been a fun game to play-"What would you do if you won the lottery?". Of course it really is rather sad and pathetic because after you've worked yourself up imagining all the wonderful things you'd buy and all the wonderful deeds you'd do, you open your eyes and look about you and see how non-rich you really are! 

So what would I do? Well, first and foremost I would make sure my parents and my fiance's mother never had to work a day again. I'd buy them beautiful houses that they could maintain and set up accounts for them to live their retirement years in luxury. Next I would make sure that my sisters and brother were taken care of. I'd buy them all houses and give them money. I'd go on a world tour lasting at least 6 months with my Kevin and my sisters. That would be wonderful!

I would go back to school and really take any class that caught my fancy. I'd hire professional tutors to teach me languages so I could learn German, French, Latin, Spanish, Greek and maybe even Italian...what the hell! I'm rich!! I'd buy a house close to the school I'd attend and take my time getting my masters degree and then of course get my doctorate. Oh how lovely that would be!

I would then join some non-profit organizations so I could give back. I'd give in the typical way of course by just writing some checks. However, I'd also want to have a more hands on approach. I think I'd like to be involved with organizations that dealth with poverty here in the U.S. And not just childhood poverty, but poverty regardless of sex or age. I'd like to also maybe teach an adult literacy class. I think helping adults overcome challenges are only going to help children in the long run. I also would like to donate books to kids who can't afford to buy any. Yeah, that would be wonderful!


Writer's Block: Dream Trip

Do you consider yourself an optimist, a pessimist, or a realist?
If I could go anywhere in the world-and understanding that it couldn't be a trip around the world mind you-I would have to say England right now. It has been a dream of mine to go to England since I was little. I always had a huge fascination with castles and knights-myths of courtly love but I still love it all.

I have been studying the Tudors this past year and early modern Europe. I think seeing places like Hampton Court Palace, the Tower, Shakespeare's Globe Theatre, Windsor, and so much more would just be like traveling back in time. I think any historian would dream of visiting the places that he/she studies on paper.

I have so many places I'd love to see that sometimes I think there isn't enough life to do it all. I think I'd like to do a train trip across Europe at least once just to get a little taste of places. Of course I'd love to go back to Germany and see it all through the eyes of an adult.
I have been looking up summer language programs in France. Not that I think I will do one, but it sure is fun dreaming. I love languages. I have always wanted to be multi-lingual. French, German, Spanish. I want to read Latin and Greek. I can close my eyes and picture myself sitting at an outdoor cafe sipping my capucinno, grading papers. If I teach history through the internet to college students than I could be anywhere in the world. That is my dream future.

Maybe I'll rent a villa in Switzerland for the summer while I work on the new novel I'm writing. Maybe Kevin and I will take a driving tour through Espana and try all the local cuissine while I journal it and write an article for Bon Apetite or Vogue.

Super ambitious. And even if none of it comes true it helps to dream. I can see myself  teaching, no matter what I do, I'm teaching. Maybe I'll even take a group of college kids on a European Tour. Life can be exciting and great if I work hard enough. :)

Writer's Block: Seven

Which of the seven deadly sins—sloth, greed, lust, gluttony, anger, envy, and pride—are you most likely to commit?
First of all I don't really believe in sin but I would have to say that I've 'committed' all of them. I'm probably prone to the pride and envy ones. I've always been prideful but it has only been recent that I've really felt the envy. But that's what happens when things are not going good in your own life-you see others and imagine the greener grass. :)

Writer's Block: Table for One

Do you ever go out to dinner (at a sit-down restaurant) by yourself?
No, I've never went to a restaurant and ate alone. Not that I don't think that is cool. Nor do I look down on others for doing it. I basically spend like 90% of my time alone. So the last thing I want to do is go out alone. I love, love, love dinner and conversations. It's one of the things that I love most. I much prefer to go to a nice restaurant with people that I like and have great conversation. Maybe try a new drink. Sit for a couple hours, have coffee afterward and still feel like there is more to say. :)
So I went shopping today with Katie. Not that I had any money to spend, but I helped her spend her money! HAHA! It was fun and I enjoy hanging out with her so much. It was really nice. It made me think again, yet again, about my goals and what I want to work towards. I am so excited about taking French. We are going to be tight financially this month so I am a little scared that I might not have the money, but I am sure going to try!

Writer's Block: Year of the Ox

Happy Chinese New Year! The Year of the Ox starts today. What is your Chinese zodiac animal? Do you think you fit the description of the sign?
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Chinese Zodiac - Goat

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Occupying the 8th position in the Chinese Zodiac, the Goat (or Sheep) symbolizes such character traits as creativity, intelligence, dependability, and calmness. Comfortable being alone to ponder the workings of their inner minds, Goats enjoy being part of a group, but prefer the sidelines rather than the center. Their nurturing personality makes Goats excellent care-givers. They’re quite and reserved because they spend much time absorbed in their thoughts.

 Home and alone is where Goats feel most comfortable. There they can express themselves artistically, whether it’s by painting, cooking or participating in whatever artistic endeavors they enjoy. Goats prefer the couch because there they can relax and explore their minds. They don’t need elaborate furnishings; only items reflecting their desire for art.

 When traveling or seeking entertainment, Goats prefer groups or venues that hold many people. Goats spend money on fashions that give them a first class appearance. Although Goats enjoy spending money on the finer things in life, they are not snobbish.


Earth Goats – Years 1919 and 1979

Stable with feet firmly planted in the ground, Earth Goats are conservative, independent and practical, but not very confident in themselves. Most important in life is the family and they truly enjoy all that life has to offer.


I think I am definatley a goat-or sheep in some Chinese Zodiac books. I think I'm defenitly creative, dependable, intelligent, and calm in the midst of chaos.
"Comfortable being alone to ponder the workings of their inner minds, Goats enjoy being part of a group, but prefer the sidelines rather than the center"
That is so me!! To the very last t!! I am most comfortable alone, yet I like having friends. So many things are true its actually quite funny! :)
So today I feel like I've had an apiphane! It happened in the shower, actually! LOL! I have been feeling so down and depressed lately that I think something just gave. I feel so excited all of a sudden about my future which I haven't felt for a LONG time. I was thinking about work and how I would probably feel better about myself, i.e. I would get exercise, meet new people, make money, all of which is contributing to the detremental feelings I've been having. But it has always depressed me when I thought about getting a job.

First of all, substitute teaching always comes to mind. It pays well-$120 a day-it is on my schedule, every day is different. But I just hated doing it. I didn't hate it all the time, but it is extremely hard to just walk into a class and implement a lesson plan. It has to be one of the hardest jobs I've ever done-and the least fulfilling. But I did it and I might go back to doing it. But I don't want to do it. Does that make sence?

So what else is there? Not much for someone with no steller work history. I've had relatively few jobs and I've always made minimum wage. I feel like if I'm going to make minimum wage then I want to be doing something that makes me happy. So, since my goal is to work at the college one day, I thought that I would try to get a job at the college even though it won't be as a teacher! Simple, I know. Yet it made me feel so happy!

I am taking French next month and that is working toward my ultimate goal of getting my masters degree. So that makes me even happier! I just feel like I need to stay busy, but not mindlessly busy-busy doing something that I find interesting and college is interesting to me. I love working with college students. I do not want to work with elemtary or secondary students but I want to work with college students so when I start school next month I am going to look around and see what, if any, options I have. Maybe I'll even look at other colleges down the hill, like CSUF since that is where I want to go to grad school.

So we'll see. The important thing is that I stay positive, searching, and looking for the life I want without giving up or accepting less. :-)

Writer's Block: Peevish

Too many LJers to list have submitted this question—what is your biggest pet peeve?
Okay, hands down, my biggest pet peeve is texting while in the company of others. Hey, if you're by yourself then text away! Text until your fingerprints are warn off! Yet please, please, please don't text while hanging out with others.It has to be one of the rudest habits in the world. Oh yeah, and my favortie thing is when someone is reading a text (and of course you know they have gotten a text because they always have a nice and loud beep of somekind so everyone knows how important they are that they got a text) and starts to laugh and you ask, "what's so funny?" and they person closes their phone and says nothing. Hello! Rude!

Would it be rude if I were with a friend and I was constantly getting and sending texts? Maybe we are watching TV together or are hangning out. I just don't get it. Poor etiquette.

"You Will Be The Death Of Me"- Muse

     I feel so restless. I am concerned that no matter what I do I will somehow always not be satisfied. Why is that? I get into these obsessions and for the moment, whatever that obsession is-is the most important thing in my life. When it is over, eventually, a new obsession will take it's place. Am I destined to always feel unfulfilled?
     I think I lead a very mundane life. My existance is known to truly only a handful of people. I guess I think about it too much and then I start to feel insignificant. I feel desperate for excitement, adventure, tumultuous passion and feeling. Deep, deep emotion is what I am yearning for. Yet is that really what i want? Right now it sure is but will that sustain me? I want to have so many depths to my character taht I somehow remain an enigma that people are searching for the answer.

     Basically I need to stimulation. I get none, from no one. This is of course my fault and no one elses. I have isolated myslef to the point that I feel like a caged bird. Yet i have no desire to release myslef for an ordinary thing? Make any sence?